Security Blanket

If you go on any social media page and look at the profile of any 16-20 year old girl, you will see a carefully placed contour/highlight and long, beautiful hair.

I struggle with this. I struggle with conformity. My entire life I have been a people pleaser. I have always been ready to do and to sacrifice for the possibility of being good enough or worthy of someone’s desire to have me in their life. Because of this desire, I’ve struggled with making other people my gods instead of Jesus. I want so badly to be wanted that I choose to become like them instead of striving to live a holy life.

You see, it got to a point where not only did I want people who knew me to be pleased with who I was, I wanted people who simply saw me walk by to be satisfied with what they saw. Now, I do love getting ready, doing my makeup and hair, and going to do something fun with friends or family. But in this case, I literally wanted anyone, and everyone, who saw me on a Monday afternoon in T. J. Maxx to think well of me because I looked like every other girl my age does.

But somedays, getting up is hard and makeup is too much of a hassle. Cute clothes aren’t fun on a rainy day so I’d throw on leggings instead. So what would I have that could help me to look how I felt like I desperately needed to? My hair. So I grew it out long, longer than I ever realized it was. I kept it long for about two years. I used different shampoos, conditioners, oils and other hair products to keep it looking “healthy”. I also blow dried or curled it everyday.

There was one ‘lil issue with that though. The bottom approximately five inches of my hair was dead and dry. I had the frizziest split ends and nothing could tame them. I wanted to cut it off. Start over. But, I pushed it off for the longest time though because I was so scared of how others would react and what they would think.

But then one day–more specifically Friday, July 28, 2018–my friend and cosmetologist cut around eight inches off of my hair as I tearfully sat quiet in the chair.

The Lord dropped a truth bomb on me as I listened to the snips of her shears.

The split ends of my hair took over the majority of the length. I tried out so many new heat protectants, oils, and others but all it did was cover it up for a little bit. But after about an hour or two, they would frizz up and become stringy and gross.

When we make a choice to want to conform and look like the world, we are welcoming dead ends into our life. We are accepting and holding the door open for sin and temptation. When we try to cover up the dead, gross, sinful parts of our life — it works at first. And then it doesn’t. You can try everything to cover up your split ends, but how much peace and joy does it steal from you? My split ends were my insecurities.

I could go out, be so confident and so happy to be there. Truthfully the whole time, in my brain I would be so worried about my image, how people were seeing me. But at the end of the day, I’d come home and have too many harsh comments to make about the image in the mirror. But I’d happily hang out the next day too. We can do whatever you want to do, I don’t care!

The cycle would continue on and on. But I kept the split ends around, because that’s what everyone has, long hair.

You see, so often I choose the security of conformity instead of the peace and courage of a Christ-centered life– and yes, it stretches farther than just hair.

Me having this long hair was my cover up. It was my choice of conformity to a social and physical image I so wanted to have.

Now, I’m not saying that if you have long hair your an image of conformity– but what I am saying is:

What if everyday, when we see “barbie” on social media or at school, we didn’t say “Why don’t I look like that?”. What if we rested peacefully and joyfully in the scriptural fact that God, the king of kings, created US in HIS IMAGE.

Check out these verses:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:12

^“14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. ¹⁵ My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. ¹⁶ They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. ¹⁷ Sanctify them by^[a] the truth; your word is truth. ¹⁸ As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. ¹⁹ For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.” — John 17:14-19

In the first verse – the apostle Paul is writing a letter to the romans. He is advising them to not fall prey to the consistent patterns of the fleshly earth but to instead be made new by the transformation that Christ is in them.

In the second — Jesus is speaking. If you read carefully, Jesus states that he does not want us, as christians, to be stripped of this world, He created it for us in the first place, but He instead wants us to be given the strength and willingness to be able to withstand the sins and temptations of this world.

SOOOOOOOO SUPER LONG STORY SHORT:
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” — Genesis 1:27

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” — Psalm 139:14

God’s original purpose for creating us was to be in personal relationship and to glorify Him all the days of our lives. He created you, me, and every other person in His image. With purpose. With intention. With love. So next time satan tells you that you need to be, look like, or do something that isn’t you, tell him to shut up and flee. Declare who you are and whose you are. Praise the Lord for creating you exactly how you were supposed to be. He created the stars with His words, but He chose to form you with His own hands. What an honor.

Thank you Jesus for loving me. Thank you Jesus for pursuing my wandering and insecure heart. I praise You for creating me how You desire for me to be. Thank you for knitting me together. Thank you for cutting off my split ends and making me whole.

In His Love,

Carrie Liz